|
Author: Lucia Demasi Article source: http://www.kosspa.com/. Used with author's permission.
Dear Lucia,
I know I made a stupid mistake but what shall I do? I totally screwed up. I went out twice with a guy and we French kissed. He's busy always traveling and he didn't call. When I called him a week later,I said stupid stuff like "Even the president has time to call..." so he told me "I'm not a relationship kind of guy". He also said his ex-girlfriend sometimes goes to his place to water the plants when he's away. I want to see him again, without any strings attached - how do I do it? Signed: Waiting
Dear Waiting,
I'm glad you realized you made a mistake. I'm of course referring to calling him and then on top of that making that president comment. Anyone that is a regular reader to this column will remember my "10 Things You Should Never Say to a Guy" list. One of the 10 is: Why didn't you call? Now you see why asking that question never works. The answer is always: Because he didn't want to. What you're really asking is: Why didn't you want to call? It's too soon to be wondering that. All you've done is lock lips. Don't fall into that silly female habit of trying to move things along, because it rarely works. When you prematurely try to take one step forward, the guy will instead take one step back.
This is what he did when he told you he wasn't a relationship kind of guy. What he means is: He doesn't want to have a relationship with YOU! If he wasn't a "relationship guy" how does he explain having an ex-girlfriend? He's trying to put the brakes on because at the moment he hardly knows you, and he certainly doesn't need some girl calling him up to find out why he didn't call.
Finally, you say you want to see him again with no strings attached. I say you want to see him again and pretend there are no strings attached. You and I both know you want more. But okay, I'll play along. Since he felt forced to make that "no relationship" statement, you've now painted yourself into a corner. What to do? Well, I would say wait for a month and see if he calls you again. If he does, don't mention getting together. If he asks you out, don't say yes right away. Tell him you'll need to get back to him. This is your way of taking one step back. (Incase you hadn't noticed, dating is a lot like "Simon Says"). When you do go out, you need to casually slip into the conversation that you're just looking for a casual relationship (not necessarily with him, but in general). See how he reacts to that and go from there.
If, however, you don't hear from him in a month, call and leave a message saying hello. If he's interested, he'll call back at some point, though it may not be right away. If he answers, do the same thing, keep the conversation light and get off the phone in 5 minutes. Don't ask him to get together. He needs to ask you out if he's interested, otherwise, you'll be taking one step forward again, while he's still two steps back. Understand?
Now, go forth and do not ever again commit the sin of asking: Why didn't you call? Lucia is a dating and relationship expert, columnist, lecturer and host of the TV Show "The Art of Love".
With over 20 years experience on the relationship market, Lucia has dated men of all nationalities in six cities, four countries and two continents. Her practical know-how makes her the perfect candidate to dispense relationship advice - after all, in almost every dating dilemma she has been there, done that and lived to tell about it.
For more articles or to ask Lucia a question, go to: http://www.theartoflove.net
To speak to Lucia, go to: Ask Lucia
Resume Writing Service Marketing
Learn how to market your resume writing business in an effective manner.
Work, Work, Work: Making Each Moment Count
Time, time, time. It seems there is never enough of this precious life support. In a previous story about time, I quoted the following aphorism:
Pixel Ads, What Are They and Why Do You Want One?
Pixel Ads, What are they and why do you want one?
How Many Bowel Movements Should You Have Each Day?
Most doctors don't ask you about your regularity. They may think it is not important to have a bowel movement every day. In fact, some doctors think its ok wh...
A Taxing Investment
Taxes are usually the last thing you think about when you consider
your investments. Should they be? What's taxed and what's not? How
much should I put into my ...
Cooking Tips
You open the cookbook and see a recipe title or a photo that tempts your taste buds. Then you start to read the recipe, realize the preparation is more difficul...
Refinancing Your Home Mortgage Loan - Refinance Your Adjustable Rate Mortgage
Here are some tips to help you know whether or not you should refinance your adjustable rate mortgage.
Saving Dimes Can Go a Long Way
From growing up with two older brothers and my father, I have learned that men hate change and I'm talking about monetary value not change like the changing sea...
First Impressions Will Sell Property Fast!
By creating that must have feeling you can sell property fast. A few simple improvements to your home will help sell your property at the price you want...
The Most Influential Shih Tzu Breeder in the Early Days of Shih Tzu in North America
Ingrid Colwell - A quick glimpse of a woman for all shih tzu fanciers to remember and cherish.
The Importance of Bunk Bed Mattresses
Bunk bed mattresses are perhaps the most important kind of mattresses. This is because safety risks exist when wrong-sized bunk bed mattresses are purchased. A...
Dealing with Criticism and Rejection
Whether it's the other kids making fun of you at school, you just received a really harsh performance evaluation from your boss, you got turned down by the girl...
Babies Suffering For Colic
Many babies suffer from colic - and you'll suffer too! What can you do to reduce the crying and how long will it last?
A History of Money and Banking Secrets That Banks Dont Want Published
This is a History of Money and the Reason a Federal Reserve Note isn't Backed by Gold or Silver Anymore. You Will Learn Unforgettable Information About Money, D...
B Vitamin Hype: With Ambitions of Fighting Acne, Rosacea and Tumors, What Can This Vitamin Really Do
Is vitamin B an acne, rosacea, and tumor fighter rolled into one?
Overcoming Resistances To Marketing a Practice-Part 2
In part 1 of this article the most common resistances that coaches, counselors, therapists or healing professionals have to marketing a practice were identified...
Day Trading – The Ultimate Work-From-Home Job?
Ever dreamt of giving up the daily grind? Want to strike out on your own and work from home, but don't know what you could possibly do to make a living? Full ti...
Market Experience of a Naïve Stock Operator
I wrote this article based on my real life experience with the stock market. I wrote it with humorous slant, but still hope you can learn a few
things about how...
Planning for Your Future
Military Finances
Colorado Dude Ranch Vacations
Colorado dude ranches provide an ideal destination any time of year. Horseback riding can be enjoyed year-round, so bundle up for the snow, or find a ranch that...
Belly Fat: Enough of That! One Probable Cause of Excess Abdominal Fat
There's more fat around the bellies of American men women and children now, then there was 20 years back.
E-commerce Taxation
The means and types of businesses have transformed with advent of era of e-commerce, resulting in global seller and buyer. The Internet offers consumer choice, ...
How to be Your Authentic Self
Our authentic self is who we really are, deep at the core of our being. Our authentic self is not who the world labels us to be. The authentic self is driven ...
Home Loans For People With Very Bad Credit - Improve Your Chances of Getting Approved
Here are some tips to help you get a mortgage loan, even with bad credit.
|
Print this page