Transitions: Moving Through Change With Grace

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Author: Annette Colby

Article source: http://www.cumuli.com/. Used with author's permission.

MOVING THROUGH CHANGE

Creating any major change in our lives can also create feelings of discomfort. Tiredness, confusion, and uncertainty are among the many emotions that can be experienced. Moving from one way of doing things to another requires a transitional period. The transition is the middle ground that is required for evolution to occur. It's the place between where you were and where you are going. Usually this middle ground feels unpaved, unstable, lopsided, jagged, and stony. We stumble along with unsure footing wondering if we will ever feel confident again. Our transformation depends on trusting the road will eventually smooth out. Trusting that we are safe even in the midst of change, in the darkness of uncertainty.

I certainly don't have all the answers for how to proceed through change. But my life experiences continue to teach me that change is growth, change is empowerment, and change is life itself. I continue to realize how to embody the process of change with joy even as fear and confusion are present. The strategies below are steps I take to help ground me when I'm scared during a period of transition. Maybe these strategies can also give you a few ideas that can provide firmer footing to navigate a solid path towards your future possibilities.

ACCEPTANCE

Take a moment breathe deeply. Realize you accepted this transition. No one forced you to change or can force you to complete the change. Although it may not be an easy journey, trust that you will be much better off on the other side. Verbally acknowledge and accept the journey that you determined for yourself. You could say something like, "Universe, I am now ready to accept this journey." Doing this invokes your personal power to successfully achieve your outcome. Now is the time to open your heart energy and ask, "Universe, how are you going to support me in this?"

GRACE

You may feel uncertain while in transition. Here is a question for you — Are you going to curl up, continue to pretend you are powerless (can't have what you want), and desperately seek someone to rescue you from the middle of the road? Or are you going to gather up all your courage and gracefully walk on your own two feet? Two very different ways to experience the moment. It's okay to stumble and fall, we all do it. It's even okay to lie there in the dirt for awhile. We all run our own stories and everyone has had the experience of a temporary pity party. Or as my friend called it the other day — I was on my 'weepy wagon'. She said it was okay. However, she wasn't going to get in and join me in my weepy wagon of self pity. Instead, she would stay with me and pull the handle until I was ready to get out. It was a weepy wagon of old lies and untruths. I'm walking again — much stronger for having fallen.

CHOOSE FAITH

"Feed your faith, not your fears." Everyday I look at this quote taped to my computer screen. There are only two choices. The greater our fear, the tighter our grip. Do a reality check. Is it time to let go and move into the experience? You will most likely have to move forward while still feeling fear rather than waiting for the fear to pass. Eleanor Roosevelt eloquently stated, "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I've lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

GET SUPPORT

For each of us, we must walk our own path. No one can save us from this journey. No one can pick us up and drop us off on the other side. The journey itself is what offers strength, insight, and wisdom. So we must walk our own road — but that doesn't mean we can't bring some friends along to walk with us for awhile. Meet with a nutrition therapist, coach, friend, or advisor on a regular basis to keep you grounded. These people can help you though the periods of self-doubt and instability. We all need someone to lean on and support us through the bumpy parts.

WORDS ARE POWER

Be acutely aware of the words you use. Do they empower you or leave you feeling powerless? Observe your spoken language and the self talk in your head. Is it positive or negative? Is it detrimental or helpful? Is it rooted in fear or love? Does it stay centered in the present moment? Positive, self-affirming, resourceful, and loving language — spoken or thought — is what allows us to make the journey. Look into your own eyes in the mirror and support your journey.

TAKE A RISK

Change requires us to move from our smaller, confined circle of comfort to one that is larger and more expansive. The edges of the smaller comfort zone need to be faced. Like Columbus sailing off to explore the edge of the ocean, you too are exploring unknown (and feared unsafe) new territory. Choose what feels right for you to safely feel the stretch of growth. Ask yourself each week, "What risk have I taken?" "What success have I experienced?" Make it okay to be a beginner again. It's how we grow and transform. You will inspire others and find strengths you never knew you had.

CREATE A RITUAL TO HONOR THE CHANGE

Take the time to symbolically acknowledge the journey you are on. It is a stage of growth, new learning's, and a new attitude. A ritual can be anything metaphorical that has meaning to you. Perhaps it might be setting something free, cleaning your closet, throwing out your diet books, a celebration of the journey with friends, or even listing all the things that have been holding you back upon little strips of paper and burning them. Take physical action in your life to acknowledge the path you are moving along and to open up to new possibilities that await you just around the corner. Simple daily rituals that nurture your soul will respect the transition that you are in. A ritual may help you close a door that needs to be closed. Honor what has come before, learn from it, and let it go. Acknowledge the present, and give thanks for your future. Receive support from your higher self.

EXERCISE

TRANSITIONAL OBJECT

It might help to carry with you a transitional object that reminds you of your success so far, and helps keeps your vision on your overall goal. The object could be something you touch that reminds you of your journey. Or it could be an item that provides comfort. Think of a baby holding onto a teddy bear or a favorite blanket. Or the function of rosary beads. Link your sense of touch to the feeling of success. Touch, stroke, or handle your item with each small (or large) sense of achievement. Then when you gain strength to go on, touching your object again will remind you of your goal. Here's a list of potential transitional objects you could easily carry in your pocket or on your body:

Small smooth stone

Crystal

Special necklace

Ring for your finger

Sea shell

Symbolic lapel pin

Copyright 2005, Dr. Annette Colby, all rights reserved.

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