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Author: Sharon Teitelbaum Article source: http://lists.webvalence.com/. Used with author's permission.
My clients say the best things! Last year, while naming some of
the things on his "back burner," one of my clients said, "I'm just
afraid some of these things are on the back burner of someone else's
stove!" We both laughed in recognition of this truth.
Once we're past our 30's, we see how quickly time flies, and how
easy it is to get so caught up in the rush and tingle of everyday life
that we forget some of our commitments to ourselves. We put something
on the back burner, and it can be YEARS until we notice it back there.
If we notice it at all.
One of the perks that midlife offers is the chance to revisit what
we've postponed in our lives. Yes, midlife often brings chaos and
angst, which forces us to step back and re-asses our priorities and
values. And it also brings us face to face with the things we've
postponed until now.
And now there are choices to be made, item by item. Do you keep
"have a garden" on your "someday maybe" list or do you decide to truck
in some decent soil THIS SPRING and grow some tomatoes already? Do
you finally start making more time for friends, or do you stay committed
to your adrenaline-laced schedule that keeps you on the run? These are the
kinds of choices that come up to the conscious level at midlife.
COACHING TIPS:
So what's on your back burner? Here are some suggestions for
investigating this question.
1. Start a running list of the things you have on your back burner.
It may take you up to a month to remember all of what's back there.
2. For each one, name the pleasures or satisfactions it would afford
you.
3. Which would be the most rewarding one to finally DO?
4. Do you have resistance to doing it? If so, articulate it. (You
know, "I don't have the time, I don't have the money, I'm not
fill-in-the-blank enough, what would people say, etc" )
5. Respond to the resistance, line by line, as if you were a
compassionate friend who wants you to have what your heart longs for.
6. Choose at least one thing from the list to bring into your life.
7. Identify the next step toward having it, and write in into your
active "To Do" list.
COPYRIGHT 2003, Sharon Teitelbaum. All rights reserved.
Right to freely duplicate and distribute this newsletter is
granted, provided that the newsletter and this paragraph
are included in their entirety. Sharon Teitelbaum is a Work-Life and Career Coach who works with high achieving women with young children, people at mid-career, and professionals seeking greater career satisfaction or work-life balance. Her book, Getting Unstuck Without Coming Unglued: Restoring Work-Life Balance, is available at her website, http://www.STcoach.com.
Certified as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC), Sharon works by phone with clients around the world and in-person in Boston. She delivers keynotes and workshops on work-life balance issues, has been in national publications including The New York Times and Working Mother Magazine, and has appeared on cable and network television. She publishes Strategies for Change, a newsletter offering practical tips for work-life success.
Sharon has been married for 30 years and is the mother of two amazing young women. You can contact her here.
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