|
Author: V. Michael Santoro Article source: http://www.www.christian-mommies.com/. Used with author's permission.
Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's teens do want to consider their parents as friends, even though they think we could never understand the realities of their world. They are also interested in what it was like being a teenager during the Stone Age. Life without cell phones or the Internet must have been unimaginable!
So even with this interest, can parents and teens really become best friends when competing with busy schedules, and raging hormones? The answer is a resounding YES…and it is worth the effort!
What is important to understand is that both of you have to want the new relationship on a long-term basis. You cannot appear to be going through the motions, or acting like you are fitting this new relationship into your busy schedules.
As a father, I knew I was a good provider. I put food on the table, a roof over my teen's head, and helped fund those great sales that saved me so much money.
As important as the father role is, it was improving the "Dad" role that allowed me to develop a lasting relationship with my daughter. This also helped me with my two stepsons. Essentially, I modified the communication and problem-solving skills that I successfully used at work to improve my relationship with my teens.
The following are the ten ways that will help you to become one of your teenager's best friends:
1. Define what trust meant to each of you. Agree that there will be no games or hidden agendas-just honesty-to build the trust.
2. Agree that mutual trust is earned by exhibiting consistent behavior. The amount of trust that you develop will be proportionate to the amount of freedom that they will enjoy.
3. Anything that is discussed with you must be kept in the strictest of confidence. This will help reinforce the trust.
4. Talk to them as adults while remembering that they are still kids. This allows for flexibility during those trying adolescent years.
5. Become an attentive listener. Multitasking may be necessary at work, however it will make you appear distracted when discussing something important with your teenager. Learn to focus.
6. Ask the right questions without appearing to interrogate them. It is important that they not fear coming to you to discuss what is important to them. It is equally important that they feel that you will take the time to understand what they are trying to communicate.
7. Do not judge them for their actions or ever say, "I told you so! This helps in having them continue to come to you to discuss topics, and encourages them to do things better the next time.
8. When helping them with problem solving, discuss the desired outcomes first, and what they need to do to resolve their problem. Then allow them to proactively make their own decisions based upon the facts rather than reacting to their emotions.
9. Set guidelines instead of making rules for them to follow. They should have input into the guidelines, and then be expected to follow them. They will perceive this as fair and in their best interests.
10. "Hang out" together as oppose to just spending time together. Remember that there is a difference between motion and productivity, so make your time together interactive. For example, if you go to a movie, then go for an ice cream and discuss the movie. Or play some "one on one" games or sports. Do what best friends do!
If you want to be a better parent, don't forget the child within you. All too often, we get so wrapped up in being an adult that we forget how to have fun and enjoy life. I found that by using my imagination, I rekindled my creativity, and this made me an "okay guy" for my teenagers to hang out with. About The Author
V. Michael Santoro, M. Ed. coauthored, "Realizing the Power of Love," with his teenage daughter Jennifer S. Santoro. For more information, a free e-zine and more free articles, visit their Web site at http://www.dads-daughters.com
Commonly SEO terms and Jargon used by Search Engine Gurus
Have you ever been left scratching your head, wondering
what the Search Engine Optimizers SEO's or Gurus
are talking about.
Credit Report – Check Yours Regularly - and for Free
The Fair Credit Reporting Act allows everyone to check his or her credit report for free. The program expands to the Southeast this week, and everyone who is e...
Long-Term Investment In Todays Market?
The stock market is very unstable at this time going up and down while interest rates are so low you want to be a borrower and not a lender. Would you like some...
Hair Loss Will Make You A Better Person
Tired of hearing about all the negatives about losing your hair? Hair loss will make you a better person. Find out how.
Affluent Turn Cautious in Outlook for Personal Spending and the Economy
The wealthiest 10% of US households are NOT immune to the factors leading to record declines in the September and October Consumer Confidence Surveys of The Con...
Commodities - The Next Big Wave of Fortune Building
Discover why commodities will catapult many to financial success. Also find out what the "China ATM" can do for you.
My Secret To Selling More Big Ticket Items
The secret to more profit in Internet marketing is selling higher priced (bigger ticket items). Internet marketing authority Willie Crawford reveals how he eff...
Permanent Press: Using Press Releases to Keep Your Company in the News
When is your best advertisement not an advertisement? When it's a press release.
Tips for Building Love Relationships - 1
Everybody says they want a great relationship - but how? This is the first in a planned series of articles on tips for strengthening a love relationship and kee...
Change Your Career, Change Your Life
Change is Good!
Make It Happen!
Dog Crate Buyers Guide - How to Choose the Right Crate and Accessories
Why buy a crate? Plastic or Metal? How big? What about crate covers & bedding? Get all the answers here!
Psoriasis Diagnosis and Treatment
Information on psoriasis, including symptoms, diagnosis and treatment information.
Aromatherapy Favorites: Patchouli Essential Oil
Patchouli essential oil is likely the most misunderstood of items in the aromatherapist's toolkit. It's association with the 'counter-culture' may have given it...
GPS Golf Balls Are Almost Here
High tech sporting equipment, what will they think of next? They already have. GPS Golf Balls. No kidding.
How To Seduce A Woman The Right Way
Gentlemen, if you really want to seduce a woman the right way, you have to make everything revolve around her. Everything! The seduction starts long before you ...
What To Consider Before Applying For A Loan
Here are some useful tips on what to consider before applying for a loan.
Check Out That Privacy Policy
Before you enter your name, address or any other data in that form, STOP! Wait. Don't enter anything yet. If you do, you may be giving away personal information...
The 7 Keys to Business Success
The 7 keys to unlock your business success. Discover how to break through the growth barriers and develop a business that provides unlimited potential, wealth a...
What to Do to Avoid Getting Banned
Spamming means when a web designers deliberately and dishonestly modify HTML pages to artificailly increase the chance of tehm ranking close to the top of searc...
Life Lesson: Giving
The fact that you qualify to be asked means you are living with a greater level of abundance than you require. This, in itself, is something to take note of. Yo...
Achieving Success with Ezine Advertising
Achieving success is clearly up to you, not to anybody else. In fact is a simple equation involving tools, work and goals.
She Wrote the Book on Fakin It
She brought the guitar into vogue. She created the first "fake" books designed for regular folks who didn't want to or were unable to invest the time and effort...
SEO Versus PPC: What is More Useful?
The un-ending debate of PPC versus SEO took yet another turn with a popular SEM firm, iProspect claiming that SEO outperforms PPC. We at NetElixir disagree with...
10 Highly Effective Ways to Increase Traffic to Your Website
There are many ways to promote your website for free online. Here are 10 highly effective strategies you can use right now.
|
Print this page