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Author: Larry Bilotta Article source: http://www.alumbo.com/. Used with author's permission.
Let's face it; if you're looking for advice on marriage, you could spend DAYS researching on the internet without even scratching the surface of all the marriage advice that's out there.
But the sad fact is, that's what most people in your situation do…they RESEARCH…but never ACT on the concepts and ideas they learn about because they come up with "excuses" for why THEIR situation is DIFFERENT.
Well let me tell you….your situation is NOT different. And as EXTREME as MY marriage was…my "situation" was NOT different either…
So why am I qualified to give YOU advice on marriage? Because I managed to save my marriage…on my own…after 27 years of fighting, car chases and battles over her way vs. my way.
Our marriage was as bad as it gets.
You see, I married my COMPLETE OPPOSITE. In fact, you'd think we were from different planets if you compared our habits, values, priorities and temperaments… and that's before you take into account our male/female differences….which brings me to one of the best pieces of advice on marriage that I can give you…
1. LEARN THE "5 LOVE LANGUAGES"
When I discovered this critical bit of advice on marriage, it really opened my eyes as to EXACTLY what made my wife happy. Often times we wish our spouse would treat us a certain way, but we never actually tell them what it is that we want them to do!
Gary Chapman, author of the book, The Five Live Languages, makes it easy for you to communicate what you need from your spouse to feel loved…and what they need from you!
When I found out what made my wife feel loved…I was SHOCKED!
She wanted "acts of service" of all things! I thought that since I liked "words of affirmation"…that she would too!
I hated doing "acts of service" (a.k.a. chores around the house, gardening and repairs) and that's exactly why I wasn't meeting her needs! I didn't realize what I was doing wrong until I read this book.
…which reminds me…here's another great piece of advice on marriage you need to keep in mind...
Many couples make the BIG mistake of treating their spouse the way they WISH their spouse would treat THEM!
In other words, smothering your spouse in hugs and kisses isn't going to make him/her want to hug/kiss YOU more if what they actually need from YOU is "acts of service" like taking out the trash or cleaning the house!
If you want to improve your marriage and have your spouse meet your needs, by meeting theirs FIRST, I highly recommend this book. You can find it at: http:www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com/gary.html
Now I've never seen anyone talk about this last piece of advice on marriage, so pay close attention…
2. YOU CAN'T IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE UNLESS YOU FEEL LIKE IT FIRST
Many people search for the recipe for a happy marriage, in a quest for a simple LIST of things they can go do and then simply "check the items off of their list."
But unfortunately, that's not how REAL married life works. I could give you a long list of advice on marriage that would improve your relationship, but that list won't do you any good. If you're like most married couples, you won't act on ANY advice on marriage… until you first feel like doing it FIRST.
Telling you to "go do something" to improve your marriage is NOT going to make a difference in your relationship when you resent your spouse and feel SO negative that you can't even bring yourself to do it!
The key is actually FEELING LIKE doing something positive for your marriage…and THEN doing it.
Believe me; it's MUCH easier to do something nice for your spouse when you're feeling optimistic about your marriage…than it is to "force" yourself to be the first one to take a step towards a better marriage.
Now I know what you're thinking. "How do I get to the point where I FEEL LIKE doing something to improve my marriage? I'm so frustrated with my spouse right now!"
Well, I'm glad you asked. I offer a FREE mini-course on "How to Overcome Your Negative feelings…the Moment they Appear." If you're at all interested, keep reading so you can get started on the mini-course right away… Larry Bilotta's FREE 7-day email course shows you how to quickly and easily eliminate your negative thoughts, STOP dwelling on your problems and START feeling better about yourself. Just go to the Advice on Marriage website.
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