|
Author: Wayne Mitchell Article source: http://www.theallineed.com/. Used with author's permission.
Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 21, 2002
I am a stay-at-home mom, 24, married to my husband, 26, for six years. He has a problem chatting with young girls online.
I have "caught" him numerous times, and it's always the same thing. He's sorry and says it's only a game to him, but he continues to do it. He works with a high school program and knows these girls in real life. I've recorded his conversations, and they are very disturbing.
He likes the attention, and for some reason teenage girls are attracted to him, never mind he's 10 years older and married with children. Recently I read a conversation in which he told a girl the only reason he's married is because I got pregnant, which is true. He says we are best friends, and eventually we will "move on" when the time is right.
This was news to me. I confronted him, and he said he only said those things because he knew I was spying on him and wanted me to come forward. I don't believe that. I don't think he knew I read his messages. I believe that is the way he feels.
He tells me constantly he loves me and is never mean in any other way. He says it's an escape for him. In a way I believe it, but I cannot forget what he said about our marriage. If that's how he feels, why does he want to stay?
Jewell
Jewell, when your husband said he wrote something provocative to make you come forward, it's a little like saying he wanted a policeman to come forward so he began to speed. It doesn't hold water.
The question is what is real and what is fantasy. Your husband is playing an escalating game with real people who are too young for him to be playing with. He hasn't stopped because there aren't escalating consequences.
He is casting his net wide, hitting on these girls, waiting for something to happen. He is taking a chance one of them will print out what he says and pass it around. Even more threatening, sooner or later he is going to find the one he cannot resist.
Meanwhile, the young girls get a chance to try out their sexuality on an adult male. For most it will just be practice. For one of them, it is likely to be the real thing. If you don't present him with serious reasons for stopping, that is where his behavior is likely to lead.
Your husband is toying with the pin on a hand grenade. If you can't get him to put it down, you need to get out of the blast zone.
Wayne & Tamara
Song And Dance
Why is sex so public? Why is it used as a marketing tool? I just don't get it. I throw up at the sight and sound of this garbage. What happened to the good old days when sex was private, shared between two people, and never spoken about in public? I miss them, and I wasn't even alive then.
Briana
Briana, human beings are built to respond rapidly to things involving fear, food, sex, approval, and authority. There are people, companies, and institutions who know this and stand to gain by pushing our buttons. They don't care about us. They care about their own agenda.
Wisdom comes from understanding our own hot buttons and detaching ourselves from self-serving messages. Just because we live in a certain time doesn't mean we can't stand apart from that time.
Instead of reacting to every message and letting people push our buttons, we need to ask, Who will gain if I act on this message? Until we understand that, we are like a willow whipped by a wind stirred by others. After we understand that, we are like the sedate oak barely moved by even the strongest winds.
Wayne & Tamara About The Author
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Mens Killer Online Dating Profile Tip!
Online dating profile tips for men!
Optimize Your Mailing List For Better Results
A list of customers who have previously bought from you is your most important asset. These are the customers who will provide you with return business, wh...
Virtual Casino Online
Just like a real casino you can play the full array of casino games online.
Houseboat Rental
Houseboat rental - the plans available, where to rent and the prices to pay.
Adwords & Adsense: A Beginners Guide
This Atricle ihas been written to give Novice and Intermediate Webmasters an insight into PPC advertising. It is hoped that by reading this they will be able t...
Top 20 Poetry Quotations
Explore the meaning of poetry and the motivation of poets with this special collection of evocative quotations...
Red, Green, Yellow - or - Stop, Go, Go Very Fast: Which Describes Your Online Trading?
Ever notice how behavior in one area of life can apply to behavior in other areas of life? For example, I've noticed a number of things while driving that appl...
What is a Trading Plan – and Why You Need One?
Contrary to popular belief, you do not need to know where market tops and bottoms are to make money. In fact, that is where most people will go wrong. The bes...
Use This 3 Prong Team Building Power Punch To Explode Those MLM Teams
By Combining 3 Free Online Tools you will learn to Motivate Your Downline. Create a strong Team Identity and Promote Team Work and at the Same Time Explode you...
Identity Theft Article – A Phisher Is Trying To Steal Your Identity!
Sooner or later everyone with an email account will receive a phishing attempt from some internet scammer. What is phishing? How can you protect yourself? ...
What is Golf Exercise Equipment And How Can It Help
Golf exercise equipment can be a variety of pieces; but what truly is golf exercise equipment?
Popular Roulette Games
Roulette is a fun and exciting game with many variations. For example, the US version has a square with double zeroes while the European version does not.
Perform Better Golf With These Fitness Tips
Everyone wants to be able to perform better golf, and with these three tips you'll be on your road to becoming a better golfer.
The Benefits of Specific Advertising
The great Claude Hopkins (Author of Scientific Advertising) once said, "Platitudes and generalities roll off the human understanding like water from a duck. The...
C4 Leadership: Taking Your Leadership (and your Life) from Good...To Explosive!
So you're looking to take your leadership, or your life, to the next level? Then take it to the next level by going from good... to explosive!
How to Remove Blackheads
The bane of most teenagers existence is pimples. But they may also have another skin problem that will stay with them past the hormonal years, and that's black...
Do Traditional Hair Loss Remedies Have Any Relevance Today?
This article looks at some of the traditional hair loss remedies that may have been forgotten.
How To Delegate for Fun and Profit
Do you think you're the only one who knows what a control freak you are? Get real. Your staff knows you don't trust them to work alone and it affects the resu...
Immune System Supplement
Taking an immune system supplement daily is very important. However most of us don't do it until we get sick or don't feel good. It normally takes
Capture Clients With Words That Hook And Graphics That Kick!
Take these 5 design/marketing tips to heart. Using them consistently will save you time in the long run and attract more customers.
The Great Search Engine Experiment Revisited Who is the Coolest Guy in the Universe
Here's Proof: Achieve and Maintain a High Search engine Ranking in the Big 3 by Combining Key Word Rich Web Pages with Article Submission.
Are You A Victim Of FABS? Part 2
When you have a case of FABS, it may be hard to eradicate, but it is far from impossible. Fear, Anger, Blame and Shame may be different emotions, but they can ...
Learn Why Digestive Enzymes are Crucial for Optimal Health
Your body is a machine that needs attention to run at its optimum. Many factors can reduce your body's ability to convert nutrients to fuel. Digestive enzymes c...
IRS Obtains More Than 100 Injunctions Against Tax Scheme Promoters
The IRS has obtained civil injunctions against more than 100 promoters of illegal tax avoidance schemes and fraudulent return preparers in an ongoing crackdown ...
|
Print this page