Playing The Dating Game To Win

Navigation: Main page » Dating

 Print this page Submit articleComment article

Author: Toni Coleman

Article source: http://www.bellaonline.com/. Used with author's permission.

DATE. The dictionary defines this word as, "an engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest." When two people meet and share a mutual interest in exploring something more, they usually arrange a date. Simple, right? Apparently not.

Dating today seems to have taken on a number of different meanings and contexts, depending upon whom you talk to. Many singles verbalize uncertainty about the who, what, when, where and how's of dating. Somewhere along the way the game changed and the old rules were forgotten or lost. What's a single person in search of a relationship to do?

The answer will depend upon what an individual's relationship needs and goals are. If someone is playing for fun, there may be few if any rules. If they are playing to win, the rules will matter, as the stakes for them are high. Much of the confusion and difficulty seems to occur when two individuals with different goals meet and make plans to get together.

So, how can someone play the dating game in a way that maximizes their chance of meeting their relationship expectations? They must decide IN ADVANCE what their (long term) goals for dating are and what is and is not acceptable for them from any future partner and relationship. Then they must make conscious, self-serving decisions regarding the who, what, when, where and why questions that arise.

In order to assist you with these important choices, I have designed a pre-date checklist. It's a basic primer that will help you to meet and date compatible singles who are in a similar dating place (at the present time) as you are. Some careful thought beforehand will help you to avoid making impulsive and/or poorly thought out choices that can lead to the kinds of headaches and heartaches that are detailed in the many emails I receive.

Pre-Date Checklist:

* Am I dealing with any unresolved (past) issues that impact my ability to have a healthy social/dating life?

* At this time am I interested in meeting a lot of people and dating for fun and experience or am I looking for a serious involvement?

* Do I know the best ways/places to meet people who share my present dating expectations and goals?

* Do I have a rough list of attributes/characteristics that I am looking for in a partner (if applicable) or a person I'd want to date?

* Do I have "rules" that are in line with my dating expectations and goals? If so, am I able to be consistent in following them?

* Am I upfront and clear in my communication with singles in whom I have an interest in dating?

* Am I comfortable (and appropriate) in expressing my disinterest in dating (or continuing to date) someone?

* Do I think through the possible consequences beforehand of drinking too much, agreeing to leave alone with someone I have just met and any other reckless and/or impulsive behaviors?

A healthy, successful dating life requires making CONSCIOUS choices that are based on a strong self-knowledge and good self-esteem. If you have a past dating pattern that is characterized by first dates that go nowhere; promises of calls to get together that never come; first meetings that leave you wondering what went wrong when the connection felt so right; and other dating disasters- then I urge you to try utilizing the pre-date checklist and doing some work on yourself first, in order to help change your dating luck and chances of relationship success.

Its Not What You Think
My work in organizations involves dropping habitual ways of perceiving in order to contact a fresh and subtle perceiving "under the surface" of what is going on...

Dealing With your Pets Allergies
Find out which type's of allergins most commonly afflict your cat or dog and what you can do about it.

How To Realistically Get Started As A Real Estate Investor
Whether you intend to buy properties and rent them out, or if you just want to pickup a few fixer uppers and flip them for profit, I recommend a very simple ris...

Small Business Credit Cards
So what do you look for in a credit card for your small business?

What is Your Destiny?
If I were to ask you this simple question, could you give an answer to me in a clear and precise way? What is your destiny? If you are like most people you will...

Invest in the Right Equipment and Take Your Game to the Next Level
With all this high tech equipment and availaility to expert instruction, the average golfer must be playing better and shooting lower scores than ever…right? ...

Wedding Invitation Wording
Wedding Invitation Wording has particular points of etiquette according to venue of ceremony. Find out which wedding invitation wording you should use...

Train to Learn to Win
50 billion dollars were invested in training in the United States. Winners outperformed the S&P 2005 index by 2 to 1!

11 Ways to Get What You Want - Be a Clever Customer!
There is so much about 'customer service' in the media these days and, well, yes, maybe things aren't what they were. But you can do more, much more as a custom...

Dogs and Medications - How to Give Tablets to Your Dog
Many dogs object to taking tablets. If you're lucky, your dog will never give you a problem when it comes to medications, but how would you like a tablet shove...

Trials and Tribulations of a Fitness Trainer
Feeling like the NASA rover, Spirit, I started January triumphant.

The Revolution in Skin Care
What you put on your body, you are essentially putting in your body. Don't believe me? Put a piece of garlic between your toes, you will taste it in about fifte...

Digital Wedding Photography: Myth Vs. Reality
Digital wedding photography has become mainstream. The author debunks some myths related to digital wedding photography to help brides make a wise decision rega...

Are You an Employee or an Entrepreneur?
I came across the below story and I could not help but think but to share this with everyone. You might find this story quite interesting. It is adapted from an...

Double Your Results With Follow Up
Follow up is vital to your success in this business! You need to establish trust. You also need to continue to focus on the benefits your prospects will receive...

Organizing Tips for Small Business Success
If you discovered the bottom line in your business depended on the organization in your office, your reaction could range from complete composure to sheer terro...

Kids and Pets - Harmony on Both Ends of the Leash
This article summarizes how to live harmoniously with a toddler or preschooler and a pet.

Beyond All Tied Up With A Bow - Great Tips for Creating Beautifully Wrapped Holiday Gifts
You've put such thought into your gifts, let the wrapping reflect that. This article offers great tips for creating gifts that are as pretty on the outside as ...

Home Buyer Beware – Know the Signs of Real Estate Market Trouble
There are several indicators that the booming real estate market may be about to peak. The savvy buyer should watch out for signs of trouble...

Website Design Mishaps - How to Avoid Costly Errors That Can Crush Your Chances of Success
Tips for Making Your Website a Design Success

Buying Down Alternative Comforters
When the frigid winds of winter arrive, many people turn to lavish bed comforters to stay warm. Because of their luxurious feel and unbeatable warmth, down comf...

Article Marketing: Why 2 URLs Equal Pure Champagne
Writing articles today is becoming less about getting your message in front of readers and more about winning the search engine war. What many writers don't ap...

Sex During Pregnancy
It is important that you nourish your relationship as much as your nourish your unborn child during pregnancy. Most women find that their bodies grow large and ...

Unfinished Business (Part 1)
We make plans and set goals in life never knowing the time frame under which we are working. And somehow, due to lack of sufficient time, our greatest goals in ...