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Author: Amy Fleeman Article source: http://raisingadaughter.com/. Used with author's permission.
Recently I took my two children to a popular new park in the area. It's a
beautiful new playground, all wood, divided into different areas of play for
different age groups. It's wonderful for me as well, as my children can play
at age appropriate areas and I can see/interact with both of them at the
same time. This is what makes it our entire family's favorite playground, as
well that for many other families in the area.
When we arrived at the park this particular day, there was only one other
family there. It was extremely hot, and I told my kids we'd only be able to
stay for a small amount of time. I wanted them to wear themselves out a bit,
but not pass out. I assumed my normal location on a wooden bench and
settled down, knowing that I would be able to see and hear whatever my
children were doing. It didn't take long before I noticed a problem.
There's this really neat seat swing that my daughter (4) loves to swing in.
She had taken up a position standing by the swing, waiting for it's
occupants to finish. After 10 minutes, I saw her run past me saying "no,
leave me alone, I don't want to play" to a smaller child who was chasing
her. This smaller child belonged to the occupant of the swing. That
occupant, was her Mother.
In the Mothers lap was a infant, approximately six to nine months old.
There are infant swings right next to the red chair swing, but the Mother
was enjoying the chair swing with the infant in her lap. When we had first
arrived, I didn't think too much about it. Unusual, yes. A problem, no.
Until now.
Now this Mother is glaring at my daughter, who is running away from her
daughter, because the Mother is still in the swing my daughter is waiting
for. Everytime my daughter walked near the swing to continue to wait for
her turn, this other little girl followed her. Her Mother was alternating
her glare between me and my daughter, so I suggested that we play somewhere
else until they were done. My daughter said firmly "No".
The Mother turned and fixed her death stare back on me, as if to say "what
kind of parent are you?!". I replied to my daughter "That's fine, but you need to be nice to
the other little girl". Now she also glared at me. I just
couldn't win.
She stood there, waiting her turn for the swing another 5 minutes before the
Mother got all huffy, grabbed her daughter by the arm, and dragged her and
the baby off to another side of the park. Once again she was glaring at me,
keeping her eyes fixated us as she walked away. Cursing at me I'm sure. I
apologized to her, because obviously, she thought we'd done something wrong.
She didn't respond, kept that evil stare on us, and continued walking.
I wanted to cry, but instead I grabbed my daughter, told her that she
shouldn't have been so rude to the little girl (after all, that's what
little girls do, follow bigger girls around) and put her in the swing. I
pushed her for about two minutes, called for my son, and headed to the car.
In order to get there, we had to pass the other Mom on the way out, so once
again I apologized, thinking naively maybe she hadn't heard me the first
time.
Again, I got the stare of death and no response.
In the car, my son wanted to know what had happened. I wasn't even sure.
"What had we done wrong??? Why was I apologizing to this strange, bitter
Mother?" I thought to myself.
Then the answer came to me. Because I'm a nice person. That's it, pure and
simple. I don't like seeing other people upset.
So, I told my son (and daughter) that what the other Mother had done was
wrong. Instead of asking my daughter if she'd like a turn, or even
addressing her with a simple "I'm not done yet sweetie, it's going to be
awhile" she just kept swinging. Ignoring her, as if she didn't exist.
She put her needs in front of not only her other childs, but she broke the
cardinal rule of Motherhood; she turned her back on another child. You
just don't do that.
I personally don't feel she should have been on the swing at all. That as
soon as we arrived and my daughter walked over, she should have offered to get up.
However, just because that's what I would have done, doesn't mean that's how
everyone should feel or act. That said, I won't budge in my belief that she
was acting childishly, not only because she didn't address my daughter in some
kind of friendly manner (after 20 minutes of waiting), but by the glaring and pouting she kept carrying on
with. Shame on her.
A couple of days later, I wished I had done things differently. I wished I
had approached the Mom and asked if we could have a turn on the swing.
I wish I hadn't apologized for something that I don't feel was our fault.
But most of all, I wish I'd never met her and her bitterness.
The moral of this story is, don't expect a parent to do the right thing,
they can be just as selfish as children. Maybe even more so. Amy Fleeman is a married Mother of two and a loyal but overzealous beagle. Amy is the co-owner of http://www.RaisingOurKids.com and enjoys sharing her opinions and life experiences with the site visitors and newsletter readers. To hear
more crazy stories and strong opinions, (along with rational parenting advice and some freebies) subscribe to RaisingOurKids Newsletter by clicking here.
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