I saw an interview with Nanny 911 with Montel Williams and I have to say I was really impressed.
One of the clips that was shown was Nanny 911 going into a home with 3 or 4 boys. The mother, father and boys were out of control. The boys ranged in age, I think the one that was the most trouble was about 9 or 10 years old.
There was a lot of cursing and yelling between the whole family, especially the mother. The father had a home that was electrically dangerous. The father was sleeping on the couch and the boys were sleeping in the room with their mother because the other rooms were a mess and not finished. I guess the father was buying homes, fixing them up and then selling them. They had probably moved 6 or 7 x during the last 10 years.
The boy with the most trouble almost suffocated his younger brother. There was major problems in the home. The boys ran wild, didn't do even the most simplest request by the mother. It was a mess.
When the Nanny came in, she set the ground rules. She had a board of what the boys were to do. When they did them, they got a ticket worth .25 each. Now all the boys, except for one was money motivated and did what they were supposed to do. One thing that be done was hands are not made for hitting.
Now the one boy was so resistant, he put signs all over the house, saying Nanny go home. One time, he had a sign picketing in the home "Nanny Go Home" and the Nanny was right there and saying Whoa Whoa everytime the boy said Nanny Go Home. It was funny because the Nanny was not breaking down. The Nanny knew that this boy needed to communicate what he was feeling.
Nanny 911 did sit down with the boy and he expressed that he moved so often, he didn't have a chance to be in 1 home and everytime they moved he had to get used to the new school and make new friends. The other boys expressed the same thing.
Nanny 911 brought it to the attention and the mother and father. What really made me shocked was the father stated "they don't mind moving" and actually denied that moving was a problem and arrogant about what he believed.
After the denial, the mother and father decided they would stay in this home. The kids and the father fixed the house and the kids got their own room.
When you saw the mother and father afterwards, nothing is perfect but even the Nanny stated that each of us have our personalities and we are not here to change each child's personality but work basically on the structure and ground rules.
I wish I had known about these techniques to help my child develop a more positive attitude. Don't get me wrong, I have a great son but I could have done a better job.
Consistency, Consistency, Consistency is the key.
Set up a board with what you want your child to do, of course, not being unrealistic. Give a reward when they do it and you can't take that reward away once it has been given. They earned it. So just watch what reward you are giving them. It takes more effort initially to set up a board and reward system, but kids and parents need structure. That doesn't mean this is a corporal situation where your demands are unrealistic.
Start out with simple chores for your child to do. If they do it, give them a reward. If they don't, you stick with your decision and they do not get their reward regardless of the whining or pleading.
Now came out not too long ago written by Nanny 911 called "Nanny 911: Expert Advice for All Your Parenting Emergencies".
I think this book will be worth every penny. You want to raise positive children without going nuts.
Copyright 2005 Fern Kuhn, RN - Specializing in Diabetes
You may reprint this article as long as you keep the links active.
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