|
Author: Andy Carloff Article source: http://www.articlesfactory.com/. Used with author's permission.
A heterosexual man and another heterosexual man. One of them starts reading a book to the other one.
Man one: "What the hell are you doing?"
Man two: "I'm reading a book to you."
Man one: "That's retarded.... I don't want to be read to at all."
Man two: "Well, I mean, I was picking up your signals."
Man one: "What signals? What the fuck are you talking about?"
Man two: "Don't you dare pull that crap with me. You were sending me heavy signals and I was sending them back."
Man one: "You can go to hell is what. If I fucking want to do something, ask me and I'll let you know."
Man two: "But, but, it's reading a book to you -- ... doesn't it seem.... dorky to ask?"
Man one: "Really, were you dropped on your head as a child?"
Man two: "Come on.... If I ACTUALLY asked you if you wanted to be read to, you'd say I was a nerd and without any understanding of social relationships."
Man one: "The fact that you can't SIMPLY ask me if I want to do something shows that you are very much OUT OF TUNE with human relationships. God... Were you raised under a bridge or something?"
Man two: "But asking will totally ruin the mood of me reading to you."
Man one: "What the hell do you mean? Jeeze, maybe I REALLY AM in the mood for a good read, maybe not. Too fucking bad you didn't have the nerve to ask!"
Man two: "Come on, you know it would have."
Man one: "Ummmm, no."
Man two: "So, you don't want me to read a book to you?"
Man one: "Are you fucking stupid? Not only do I find you to be mentally inapt, but right now you are creeping the fuck out of me. Jesus."
Man two: "Can.... can you tell me no in signals, then?"
Man one: "Okay, listen... You aren't understanding. There are no signals. Or, if they exist, they're just a socially pathetic way of communicating a message. You want to do something. You have a mouth. Fucking use it."
Man two: "No, no, I mean, I respect your decision not to be read a book."
Man one: "Well, ummmm... thank you?"
Man two: "It's just that, well, I really really really want to do it, and sometimes I get carried away. I'm not sure how it's done sometimes, you people are so confusing."
Man one: [silence]
Man two: "You probably think I'm an idiot."
Man one: "Yes. Yes, I do."
Man two: "... I was just doing things in a way that our culture has justified them."
Man one: "That is why you're failing at them."
Man two: "Hey, you know... I do respect you as a person. Don't get me wrong."
Man one: "I don't think I am...?"
Man two: "I understand that there are definitely other facets to your life. When I look at you, I see that you have an emotional, an intellectual, and a social life, that you are more than just some person I can read a book to."
Man one: "Well, I appreciate.... I mean, what the hell am I saying? You can go to hell."
Man two: "Wait, just hear me out... I'm not expecting you to change your mind about me reading the book to you. I'm just trying to say that I respect you as a person who does other things besides having books read to them. You have your own mind and body, too. You're not just someone to stimulate by reading a book to, as much as I would love to do it. I mean, you can understand that. I see you, and the thing I want to do most is just, oh my god, just read a book to you."
Man one: "..... why?"
Man two: "Ugh! You wouldn't understand. You're not someone who reads books to others. It's just an intense, unending desire. Like I said, I'm not disrespecting you or trying to, and I respect that you have other characteristics than that one side. It's just, holy hell, what I want to do more than anything else with you, I'm sorry.
Man one: "Uuummm, don't be sorry, but, also don't be creepy."
Man two: "Man, now I just feel embarassed about the whole thing. I mean, I actually tried to read a book to you when you weren't into it... Man, maybe I should relearn what the signals are for this game and everything. God, I hate playing the field."
Man one: "You tried to read me a book... and you didn't even ask if I wanted to read it, though that would be just about customary in everything else. That right there alone is awkward."
Man two: "Well at least you're talking to me about it... I would imagine most men would refuse to even have a conversation with me and just generally regard me as a degenerate."
Man one: "It's only being read a book to. I can handle that. Just ask next time, and act like, humane and rational about it, ignoring whatever society or culture says about it."
Man two: "But you said no to me. Now I feel rejection about this... promise me you won't tell my friends about this."
Man one: "I imagine you'd be the sort of person who doesn't have any friends."
Man two: "Just promise!"
Man one: "Okay, I promise."
Man two: "Ah, I suppose this is pretty awkward now."
Man one: "... yeah, when someone sits down and tries to read a book to you, for no apparent reason... with perhaps a seemingly fetish desire about it. Yeah, that is awkward, for me."
Man two: "But for me, it is so incredibly awkward. I feel that we can't go back to our prior relationship after what happened, unless we can completely and irrevokably forget what has just happened right here and right now... But I tried to read you a book and you rejected me! There is no way that can be forgotten!"
Man one: "I'm sure... that we can just, pretend it never happened? Hell, it's a normal thing. Reading a book. Really, come on, get over it."
Man two: "Okay, okay, okay, I think I can act towards you like a normal, sincere person..."
Man one: "Eeehhh, well, maybe if you can forget everything you've learned this far."
.......... in destroying, we are building.
www.punkerslut.com
For Life,
Punkerslut Punkerslut (or Andy Carloff) has been writing essays and poetry on social issues which have caught his attention for several years. His website http://www.punkerslut.com provides a complete list of all of these writings. His life experience includes homelessness, squating in New Orleans and LA, dropping out of high school, getting expelled from college for "subversive activities," and a myriad of other revolutionary actions.
How to Choose Wisely a Credit Card
So, you've made the decision to apply for a credit card. It's an important step for any consumer. Whether this is your first application in an effort to establi...
Discipline
I've been thinking a lot about what I believe to be the central challenge facing our clients right now, along with the rest of our society. It's not an origin...
Youve Been Dumped - Heres How to Get Over It
We've all been there. Weve fallen in love with somebody who just didnt love us back. We've heard a variety of exit lines: I think its time we started seeing oth...
8 Essential SEO techniques
1) Title Tag - The title tag is the most powerful on-site SEO technique you have, so use it creatively! What you place in the title tag should only be one thing...
Wake Up America Sex Toys are Sweeping the Nation
We will walk you through the process of choosing,buying,and having a blast with adult sex toys.
The Finer, and Finest, Things in Life
In America, we have a saying: The finer things in life. These are the things that most people talk about when they are speaking of thing of high quality. In fac...
A Word Fitly Spoken ~ Acceptance
Bringing God Moments to YOU!
What About Drugs for Anxiety and Depression?
As a counselor, I am often asked, "Can drugs be helpful for anxiety and depression?" The answer I give is "Yes" and "No." Yes, drugs may be useful for short-te...
What in the World is Life Coaching?
A life coach offers a cogent description of a new, broad profession, coaching, that isn't so easily summarized, but whose origins you'll recognize in all the pe...
How To Write Descriptions That Stand Out From The Crowd
Just about every dating site—even those with minimal profiles—have space for you to write about yourself and the person you'd like to date.
The Rejection of America
America has fallen into a potentially deadly trap. Secular opinion is quietly pushing America to the brink of destruction. At this very urgent hour that we live...
Inactive Alert: Essential Proteins for Sedentary People
While the value of protein in diet has been accepted and promoted within the athletic community, it has been less well disseminated within the very large sedent...
More Rules for Franchising?
The FTC- Mighty Federal Trade Commission has unilaterally decided to change the franchise rule. They changes are sure to hurt American business, Franchisors and...
Safe From Strangers
There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of your young child by a stranger. The fear causes parents to think long and hard about their children's s...
Katrina and the Amazon Drought
The Katrina hurricane, the Central America tropical storms and their lethal effects, the intense drought in the Amazon basin with abnormal and not entirely know...
Performance Appraisals: Questions for Smarties and Dummies
Many managers think that conducting a performance appraisal is like having a root canal. They anticipate that both will be very painful. But it doesn't have t...
5 Steps to Make the Rest of 2005 Extraordinary
2005 is halfway through - how was it for you? However it's gone the rest of the year is still to happen, and it can be truly extraordinary. Here are 5 simple ...
The Importance of Bedroom Design in a Home Decoration Project.
This article shows you how any space in a home is an exact
replica of the external conditions, in any design project.
What are Betting Exchanges?
A brief introduction to betting exchanges,with an explanation of how they work,and pitfalls to avoid.
America; You Are Over Feeding Your Pets
Did you know that 80% of all American Pets are over weight?
The 7 Things To Look For When Joining A Gym
Choosing the right gym can mean the difference between the success or failure of your weight loss goals. Follow these 7 essential criteria and you can be sure t...
Fireplace Decorating Tips for Easter: Give Your Rooms Natural Focal Point an Easter Look
If you decorate your fireplace and mantel for Christmas, why not for Easter? This natural focal point of your room can get a springtime update in just five min...
Characteristics: Creative Types VS Clods!
Here are some odds & ends I have observed in creative-expert-genius types:
Getting Things Done: A Guide To Next-Action Lists
Next-Action lists are a powerful (yet very simple) concept from David Allen's Getting Things Done (GTD) sytem, that can increase your productivity dramatically....
|
Print this page