Developing Self-Esteem

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Author: Dawn Fields

Article source: http://www.advicelife.com/. Used with author's permission.

It would be pretty hard to become successful without first developing your self-esteem. In fact, I can't think of one person who is very successful who has low self-esteem.

Before we start going on about self-esteem, let's take a second to define self-esteem.

What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is defined as feelings of self-worth stemming from the individual's positive or negative beliefs about being valuable and capable.

It is pretty hard to develop self-esteem when you are working on a job that doesn't allow you to be exactly who you were meant to be. If you are working at a job that doesn't quite fit with who you are, chances are that job is messing with your self-esteem. How can you feel good about yourself if Monday through Friday for 8 to 10 hours, you are doing something that doesn't help in the development of your self-esteem?

The answer is - you can't.

You can't possibly feel good about yourself and what happens is, you start questioning your abilities. You start wondering if you are good enough or smart enough. You see others who seem to be doing well and having success, but for some reason, you keep falling short.

If you do not have high self-esteem, you will start to believe that you are at fault and that you don't measure up or you can't make the grade.

The truth of the matter is, you aren't living your life with purpose. Because you lack passion for the job or career that you find yourself in, you will find that often times, you won't be excited about it. Your lack of enthusiasm will cause your work to not be up to par. It has nothing to do with your abilities. You can't be all that great at something if you are constantly watching the clock; waiting for your break or for the day to end because you are simply tired of being there. If you were doing something that you really enjoyed doing, something that you were passionate about, you would not help BUT measure up and excel the standards. Someone would probably have to tell you, "Hey, you, it's quitting time." And the time would seem to fly by without you even taking a lunch break.

How do we get in this position? How did we lose our self-worth?

Well, there are many answers to that question.

Perhaps one or both of your parents made you feel that you weren't worthy of their love because they didn't know how to give love. Or, perhaps a teacher or authority figure made you feel that you weren't smart enough. Maybe your siblings or childhood friends teased you and made you feel less than.

These, plus millions of other reasons, are contributing factors in how we see our self-worth.

If you see yourself as being not worthy, then you will shy away from responsibilities. Often, these responsibilities, when they present themselves, may be the answer to our prayers—they may be the one thing that will lead us to living the life that we desire—to achieving that success that we've always wanted. But our doubts about ourselves and our low self awareness stop us from accomplishing our goals.

It's really sad. It hurts my heart when I hear someone say something negative about themselves. I have a girlfriend, who I think is very smart, a great person with a big and wonderful heart, and very entrepreneurial spirit. But she has this bad habit of saying, "I'm a bimbo."

Every time I hear her say these words, I stop her. But I can imagine how many times she says it when I'm NOT around. She's not a bimbo. But because somewhere during her lifetime, someone probably called her a bimbo so much she simply accepts it as being the truth. Because of her "opinion" of herself, she often times experiences moments of doubt about herself.

But how to do you change your opinion of yourself? How do you develop high self-esteem?

Well, folks, as I always say, "it's simple—but it ain't easy."

In order to develop high self-esteem, you must start with being conscious of your self-talk—the things you say to and about yourself.

Whenever you find yourself doubting your abilities or fearing what others will think of you—STOP, Tell yourself that you are just as good as or better than the next person. Tell yourself that you KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you can perform the task and do a good job at it too. If you find yourself saying anything negative about you—STOP AT ONCE!! Put the brakes on. Hold it now!!! And change that thought to a positive one.

Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself "I'm a winner. I'm a champion! I can do anything!" When you tell yourself this, take the time to FEEL as if you ARE a winner, a champion—how would a winner feel? Great, right? Well, make yourself feel great. Say it as if you really and truly mean it.

If you do this often enough, you will start to convince your subconscious mind that you ARE GREAT (which, by the way, you truly are already—you just don't know it yet. I do.) The more you become convinced, the higher your self-esteem will rise.

ACTION POINT! For the next 7 days, if you find yourself saying or thinking anything negative about yourself - STOP. Put the brakes on that thought. If someone says anything negative to you or about you—STOP tell that person, or simply tell yourself, "No, I'm not. I'm a winner, I'm a champion!" When you wake up each morning and go to the bathroom to wash your face, look in the mirror and say, "I'm a winner! I'm a champion! I'm a GREAT person!" Say it over and over and over again until you can feel it in your bones. Say it loud if you can (if you can't say it loud because you will wake up others, or you don't want them to think you are talking to yourself—then say it so that you can at least hear it.) Do this for a week and write me and tell me all about the new experiences that have been happening in your life because I know things will start happening and I'd like to hear about them.

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