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Author: Vernon Stent Article source: http://www.customerservicehome.com/. Used with author's permission.
When I am referred to the customer service department of a large company I let out a big groan. The dreaded customer service department is often a clearing house for questions and complaints. This is a typical telephone conversation I have had with a one of these departments:
Ring Ring. Recorded message: "We are sorry but all our representatives
are busy right now. You are held in a queue...." you know the rest. Mozart
Jupiter Symphony. The "held in queue" message and Mozart cycle many
times as 2 minutes pass, then 3, 4 until, after 6 minutes a female voice says:
"Thank you for calling customer service. What is you customer
number?". Now what kind of state will a typical caller be in at this point
in time? I mean what are customers expected to do perched on the end of a
telephone line for 6 minutes. File their nails? Read the paper? We are all
different. Some of us will calmly accept these things and wait. Others build up
a head of steam. A small puff of steam after a couple minutes turns into a sauna
at 4 minutes and into an inferno by 6 minutes. I am in this latter camp.
So by now my original enquiry has taken second place as I object to my life
being wasted in this way.
Me: I would like to complain....
Customer Service [Interrupts]: What is your customer number, sir
Me: I have had to wait on the line for 6 minutes and I would like to complain
about it
Customer Service: I am sorry about that, sir. What is your customer number?
I am now more incensed because I can tell that this person is not sorry at
all. Why should she feel my pain? She doesn't know me. I am just a number to her
and she is more interested in getting this number than even knowing my name. It
would not be natural for her to feel real sorrow for me. No, she says she is
sorry, but she plainly is not. This would not normally be a big deal, but
remember that my head of steam is starting to spew out of my ears and I am
getting very edgy.
Me: I want you to reimburse the cost of this telephone call. Why have you
left me on hold for so long?
Customer Service: We have been very busy
Me: But why should that be my problem?
Customer Service: We are a very large company with a lot of customers and you
need to wait your turn
And that's another thing. Customer service staff who tell me what I need to
do all the time. I digress...
Me: If you are so successful, why don't you take on more staff to answer
the telephone?
Customer Service: Sir, I need your customer number to process your complaint.
Now, the next bit is the body blow, the killer word that stops most customer
service personnel in their tracks. And the word is: WHY.
Me: Why?
[Pause] Customer Service: That is the procedure, sir.
Me: Well that is not MY procedure.
Customer Service: I am sorry sir but I cannot....
Me: [Interrupts]: Who is in charge of writing the procedure?
Customer Service: I cannot tell you that information, sir.
Me: I want to speak with your boss.
Customer Service: My boss is busy right now. You can call back later
Me: Please leave a message with your boss to call me....
Customer Service: You will need to call US, sir.
Here we go.... Me: WHY?
Customer Service: We are not an outbound call operation, sir.
Me: Why?
Customer Service: I am terminating this call sir. Goodbye.
The above is a virtual transcript from a real conversation and represents
many that I have had. I was obviously getting nowhere. In this situation you may
as well end the call. But why not do it in style? Don't be rude to the customer
service representative. That would surely put you onto their level. Don't slam
the phone down either. No, in order to maintain your dignity and maintain the
moral high ground you can escape from customer service hell by dropping in the
"why" word a few times. I virtually terminated the call myself by
repeating the WHY word. This is akin to getting a computer to work out the value
of PI. It doesn't compute.
The bit that really gets to me is where they say they have too many customers
to answer the telephone on time. Are they deliberately trying to lose some of
those customers in order to reduce the customer service workload? Certainly they
will get their wish if they continue in this way. Also, many of these call
centres will not ring out. This is not fair on customers. And why can't they
take a general complaint without putting the complainant through their
administration machine?
I think that not answering the phone in good time is plain rude. I think that
refusing to return calls is also rude. I think many customer service centres are
centres of rudeness. For that reason I try to avoid such companies. It is very
rare that the staff I speak with are rude. I actually feel sympathy towards them
because it is the system itself that is creates rudeness, not the staff.
Most customer service centres require the customer to do most of the
administration. Most of them require the customer to progress chase. Most
require the customer follow their procedures, even when the very
procedures may be the subject of the complaint.
Just as a little suggestion that might at least start to improve things, why
doesn't the customer services person start the conversation with: "Hello my
name is ......, can I take your name?" and then spend the rest of the call
referring to the caller by their name. This would set the tone for the rest of
the conversation.
Who are these rude companies anyway? In my experience they tend to be larger
companies. They are companies that see customer service centres as loss centres.
Some try to get their customer service centres to sell add-on products and
services in order to alleviate the cost. Others run these centres on a
shoestring in order to minimise cost to the point that there is little customer
service on offer. Others will do both.
I think that a pattern has emerged over the years. Large companies that were
employing these practices a few years ago are not so large today. I am convinced
that these practices result in a kind of delayed time bomb where each brush with
customer services is another straw placed on the camel's back. Eventually a
competitor comes along. They treat you like a human being and happily place the
final straw on the unfortunate camel that was your previous supplier.
When will companies realise that customers are the source of their revenue
and must be treated with sincerity and with respect. When will they learn basic
manners such as the common courtesy of answering the telephone or returning a
call?
If you are in the business of stocks and shares, just try this tip: make a
call to a few large companies and see which one treats you with like a human
being ...and invest in them!
The truth is that companies that look after their customers and make friends
with them become tomorrow's winners. Take Arkay Hygiene. They treat their
customers with respect. The same can be said of the excellent staff at
Insect-o-Cutor. These two companies do not put customers on hold and refuse to
return calls. Arkay Hygiene happens to be the most successful UK wholesaler of
Insect-o-Cutor Fly Killers. Oh, and Insect-o-Cutor are the most successful fly
killer manufacturer. Enough said. If you want the best of the best of the best, how about taking a look at the
most powerful Insectocutor fly killer model there is. That is the IND61
Insectocutor Fly Killer from Arkay Hygiene
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