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Author: Ken Donaldson Article source: http://www.realationshipcoach.com/. Used with author's permission.
So...did I get your attention? Yes? I thought I might! I did a small presentation for the Greater Seminole Area Chamber of Commerce on "How to Win Over Difficult Prospects".
The bull-fighting, rabbit-chasing and wrestling with pigs came as a result of that (I never know what is going to come out of my mouth when I get up to present!). Although this was targeted for use in business situations, I think you will find this information useful in all arenas of your Life where you are interacting with other people.
Sometimes we have to be like a bull-fighter.
So, what is it that the bull-fighter does? He invites the bull to charge at him, but moves out of the way so he does not get hit by the bull.
Question: Got any bull in your Life?
Those are the situations when another person is angry or otherwise irritated and they are directing their frustration toward you. You will never win if you try to butt heads with a charging bull. Therefore, if you invite the bull forward into the conversation by validating his or her feelings (that does NOT mean that you are agreeing), offering some empathy, and saying the three magical words of listening, "Is there more?", you will save yourself both energy and heartache (and headaches, too.head-butting an oncoming bull is very tough on the noggin).
So, what does that have to do with rabbits?
Think about trying to catch a jack-rabbit in the wild. You will run and run and run until you are completely exhausted, and you still will have not caught the rabbit. There are some people who will want to talk and talk and talk once you give them the opportunity to do so. The conversation can result in chasing one rabbit after another. The antidote to rabbit-chasing is to stay focused. Acknowledge the person's desire to go off subject, but then gently re-direct them back on the path of the topic. Repeat as often as needed.
In addition, there are also conversations that have their whole basis in rabbit-chasing; meaning that there is no way to get closure or resolution within the conversation.
Take for example someone who wants to be "right" about their opinion. If you engage in that conversation, you can plan on feeling drained and quite possibly frustrated. When you recognize those conversations, it may be very wise of you to gracefully excuse yourself, and not accept the invitation into the conversation. Which brings us to pig-wrestling...
There is an old adage that goes something like this: "If you wrestle with a pig, it matters not whether you win or loose, because you both end up covered in mud, and the pig likes it". There is no point of getting into a power-struggle or argument with someone who only wants to argue. These are the places where a firm boundary would be appropriate.
So, if you learn the fine art of bull-fighting, and stay away from chasing rabbits and wrestling with pigs, you will find yourself having plenty enough positive energy to do whatever it is that you would like to do with your Life.
So my last question to you (for today) is: What is it that you would like to do with your Life? Ken Donaldson has been based in Tampa Bay offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His REALationship Coaching programs empower people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships by building a powerful relationship with themselves first. Visit his website at http://www.REALationshipCoach.com for more information and sign-up his free e-program Illuminations and Sparks of Brilliance. Ken is also the author of the upcoming book Marry YourSelf First!
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