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Author: Buddy Rathmell Article source: http://christiandatingblog.com/. Used with author's permission.
There are a couple of things that you need to have nailed down before you start to date so that you can know who you want to date. If you don't have these things figured out you very likely will end up dating and/or marrying the wrong person.
What? Are you saying that there is only one person that I can marry?
We'll leave that issue for another time but I do want to talk today about the two things that you need to figure out first.
1. Your Master
2. Your Mission
3. Your Date/Mate
Who is going to be Lord of u your life? Some of you are kidding yourselves in thinking that Jesus is Lord of your life when you know that you really make the decisions mostly without consulting God at all or really even caring what he would have you to do in a certain situation.
Others of you have made other people the Lord of your life. You may make decisions to please others when really you need to be making decisions that are right for you and not for your mom/dad/best friend/boss etc.
When you have settled the mastur question in your life. (If you are a Christian I am hoping the master question has been settled for you, although I know that often it is not). Once you have that settled you are free to move on to the next section.
What is your mission in life? This has been a growing issue in the past few years. It seems that more and more people are told that they can do more and more so they can't settle on doing anything. My brother likes to say, "Somebody lied to you." Hopefully you had people in your life telling you the truth about what you are good and what you are not so good at. Telling a person whose singing causes dog's to cover their ears and children to cry that they have talent doesn't help them. You make think that in the short term you are helping their self esteem but in reality you are only causing them harm.
I am seeing so many 20 somethings who can't figure out what they want to do with their lives because they don't know who they are. Start by asking those that know you well a few thought provoking questions.
1. What do you think that I do well?
2. What could you see me doing in life?
3. What do you think that God created me to do on this earth?
Ask yourself some questions. What have you had success at in life? What do you enjoy doing? What gets your juices flowing, either ticked off or really excited? These may be some of the clues as to what God has for you.
As you walk further down this road of introspection your view of what God could have for you to do will become more focused. Like the light of a flashlight that gets smaller as you twist the head, your target area that your life is heading should become smaller as you learn more of who God created you to be.
Once you have down your Master and your Mission it is much easier to figure out who your date. Obviously, there is no harm in going on date with someone who isn't compatible with your mission but you probably don't want to go on many dates with someone that is heading in a different direction than you are. So your three biggest decisions in life are usually made in the 20 something years. Hopefully making them in the right order will help you to walk successfully through life. Buddy Rathmell (M.S. Biblical Counseling) has started
www.christiandatingblog.com as a resource for christian singles.
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