|
Author: Greg Gagliardi Article source: http://justblogn.lawyer-list.info/. Used with author's permission.
Today I passed a thermometer at a bank that read 110 degrees, but I am not telling you that to show you how hot it was. I am telling you that because this bank really needs to fix their thermometer. According to their thermometer, it was also 110 degrees in December. There are a lot of people, places and things that can be more accurate with the weather, and as I've never said (but have always wanted to), "Whatever I trust with the weather is what I also trust with my money." Here are some examples:
A random old lady: Certain beings can predict the weather through their bones, and that group includes random old ladies and dogs. I specify "random" because that way I won't get e-mails from people stating, "Hey, why are you messing with my grandmom? Are you saying she's like an alien or some kind of meteorologist or something?" And no, I'm not. I am talking about a "random" old lady, and grandmoms don't fit into that category, not even on Bingo Night. Regardless, my plan is to give my money to one of these random old ladies instead of keeping it at a bank because I know this lady won't go too far with it, and if she does disappear, I'll know to find her in Florida. Also, I don't have to worry about her making any silly investments except for lottery tickets and candy buttons. Plus, who is going to try to rob a random old lady? It's just not feasible...
A kangaroo: Kangaroos were created with pouches for a reason. Contrary to popular belief, it has nothing to do with holding their young. In reality, kangaroos are living banks (and weather forecasters), ready to take your deposit and hold onto it until they die. Some may say that depositing money into a kangaroo's pouch is bad because there will be no interest on the money. But think again -- we're talking about a kangaroo hopping around with money here. There's gotta be a lot of interest there!
A weather vane: Nothing beats a good weather vane with a metal rooster on top of it, except for maybe a weather vane with a real rooster on top of it. All people need to do is hide their money somewhere on a weather vane because most people will never think to look there for money. In fact, most people don't even look at them anymore for the weather. It's a win-win situation, with you being both the first winner and the second winner...
A man-eating fish with a keen sense of finances and the guarding of finances: No explanation necessary.
An outdoor basketball court: One can determine the weather by the amount of people playing basketball outside, as well as what they are wearing when they play. So the weather is taken care of already. As for the financial aspect, I would put all of my money on -- or near (why be picky?) -- the top of a backboard. That way the only people who could reach it already likely have lucrative contracts and wouldn't need the money anyway. If it turns out that someone else is able to grab the money, I'll just call a foul at some point afterwards and I'll get two free throws, a suitable replacement for cash...
But I digress. Greg Gagliardi is a teacher and writer. His stream-of-consciousness weekly humor column, "Progressive Revelations," has been ongoing since 1998. (http://www.ProgressiveRevelations.com)
L-Carnitine and Sports Performance L-Carnitine can be found naturally occurring in the kidneys. L-Carnitine travels through the blood stream to the body's cells in order to aid in the production ...
Saving Money - 35 Pieces of Advice to Save There are only 2 ways to grow your wealth - Increase your income (by earning more and saving more) or decrease your costs. Here are a few money saving ideas tha...
How A Simple Four-Letter List Can Make or Break Your Business Do you look back at the end of the day and wonder why you didn't accomplish what you wanted to get done? Take just five minutes everyday to create your four-le...
Advertising Your Home Business With Pay Per Click Can Be Risky If you use pay per click advertising it would be wise to carefully monitor your traffic to determine if you are the victim of click fraud.
Vermicomposting - Worm Composters For Eco-Friendly Waste Disposal and Recycling Why composting with worms is good for gardeners, the environment and for getting kids interested in recycling.
Good Logos Make Great Sales Tools Every day, the average person is exposed to millions of visual stimuli including hundreds of company logos. A logo is a unique visual image that represents a co...
Yahoo! Publisher Network - The Next AdSense? Yahoo announced that their Publisher Network, formerly available in the US for large websites, will be extended to small and medium-sized websites.
Democracy, War and the Media - Uneasy Bedfellows All Round international wars and greater technology have changed our perceptions of both the countries invaded and our own democracy. We're under the impression we've los...
Seeding Flowers Indoors: An Inexpensive Way to a Beautiful Summer Garden Every year you plan that THIS will be the year you have pots and pots of lush plants on your balcony or deck. Then you visit your local nursery in the spring an...
5 Ideas for Writing Effective Sales Letters Sales letters, sent via e-mail or snail mail, are an effective and inexpensive way to get your message out. Even if your letter goes out to thousands of people,...
Website Promotion: 10 Sure-Fire Tactics To Sell Your Back-End Products A back-end product is a product that you attempt to sell
your customers after they have recently purchased a
related product from your business.
Creativity Management – Breaking Through The Mental Barrier There are numerous blocks that prevent creative output. Taken together, they represent a severe barrier to task completion, whether that task be the innovation ...
Communication between franchisees in a franchise system If you own a franchise you would be wise to stay in constant communication with your fellow and local franchisee counterparts. You should call up once a week an...
How To Use RSS Correctly There is no doubt in my mind that RSS is here to stay. RSS is a simple and effective means of communicating your message to your visitors without invading their...
Herbs for Menopause Herbs for menopause symptom relief, when administered in the correct dosages and blends, will work very effectively to restore the hormonal balance and harmony ...
Alaska - Brief Travel Guide A one-page guide on travel to Alaska. Explore the true North, the land of spectacular scenery, abundant wildlife and friendly hospitality. Find out what you sho...
How Cheques Work It can seem so simple sometimes, simply writing out a cheque in order to pay for your purchases.
See How Trampolines Can Be Part Of Any Exercise Program When the trampoline was invented by a young boy intrigued
by the ability of aerialists to bounce in a net and perform
artistic maneuvers while they did so, it l...
MLMs: Waste of Time, Or Goldmine? When most people think about Multi-Level Marketing, they envision slick-talking, insurance salesman-like people pushing their products at everyone in sight. May...
5 Secrets For Sexy Arms Just about every woman I've ever trained focuses a lot of attention on getting smaller hips, butt, abs and legs. Sound familiar? In truth, a symmetrical body is...
Learn Judo and Beat the Summer Traffic Blues Did it seem like as the Fourth of July fireworks went up, your traffic went down? Or perhaps you are dreading your visitors taking a vacation and leaving your s...
Choosing & Applying The Perfect Make-up Foundation Foundation creates a blank canvas on the face to which colors is added: eye shadow, blush & lipstick. It is also the setting agent. It is also the setting agent...
eBay: What Should I Sell? There is an art to picking profitable products. It's not just what you want to sell but rather what will sell. Unless you pick a product in demand in the market...
Traditional Antivirus Programs Useless Against New Unidentified Viruses! Most traditional antivirus programs relay on their database. Potentially hazardous files are matched against the database to see whether they are to be consider...
|