|
Author: Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. Article source: http://www.msjsoftware.com/. Used with author's permission.
Many managers believe that treating their team members as responsible adults will assure excellent results. The truth is that while this usually is effective, some people need much firmer limits than others to perform their jobs.
Ellen, the manager of a rehabilitation hospital unit, was discussing her frustration in supervising one of her social workers. Ellen would much rather help Angelique be successful at her job than to fire her, but things have not been going well. "When I give her a direction, she says she understands, but then she acts as if she can do just as she pleases."
Angelique has been on the unit for a year and a half, but Ellen has only been supervising her directly for a few months. Ellen's frustration began when she noticed the social worker's frequent absences.
"She is on a salary, and has some flexibility, but she is expected to be here forty hours a week. She has been coming and going whenever she pleases. Despite my warnings she still refuses to consistently even tell me when she will be gone. When I placed a written reprimand in her file, she cried, and promised to do better, but she hasn't.
I have even told her that she is inviting me to micro-manage her, but I am reluctant to cause her the embarrassment of having to punch the time clock, when none of the other workers at her level do that."
As Ellen and I discussed the situation, I learned that Ellen was already micro-managing Angelique. Whenever they had a supervision session, Ellen was taking extra pains to make certain that Angelique understood exactly what hours she was expected to be on the unit. We both laughed at the absurdity of helping someone with a Master's degree to read a basic time schedule.
When we looked at how Angelique had invited Ellen's micro-management, it was obvious that Angelique was acting like a child who had not learned to respect limits and boundaries. Ellen was being invited to act as her parent. Ellen kept reminding Angelique about the work requirements and when Angelique did not use this information, Ellen was first surprised and then increasingly frustrated.
When Angelique's response to discipline (being written up) was tears, Ellen felt an impulse to protect her and not cause her further embarrassment. Instead she tried to be understanding rather than critical. When that didn't work either, Ellen asked for coaching.
It's a Power Struggle
It's not unusual for a manager and an employee to get into a power struggle like Ellen has with Angelique. It is especially common for people who are still in power struggles with their own parents to get into power struggles with authority figures. Managers and supervisors are readily available authority figures.
Instead of seeing the manager as just another person whose job happens to be to give others instructions about how to do their jobs, the Angeliques of the world see managers differently. They see managers as enemies with whom they need to struggle to prove that they are independent and autonomous.
Supervisors at work, and significant others in private life, are the prime targets for their need to establish their independence by repeatedly creating and resolving power struggles.
Creating Appropriate Limits
Angelique had managed to create a power struggle with Ellen; and Ellen, like many forward thinking managers, was confused about what to do. Although she did not want to be Angelique's parent, she did need to provide firm, matter-of-fact consequences for any team member who ignored important rules.
When Angelique experiences this discipline she can decide whether or not to give up the struggle and act like a mature adult in the workplace. Whether Ellen likes it or not, she probably can't help Angelique become a productive member of the unit without providing these consequences.
Ellen confirmed that this was probably necessary. She knows that Angelique grew up in a wealthy, overindulgent family and that Angelique's father purchased a house for her to live in, and she has few financial responsibilities. Ellen noted, "She has trouble setting appropriate limits for some of the patients she works with, too. Is this another sign of her need for limits?"
Once the situation becomes clear, Ellen created a plan. She decided to warn Angelique that if she does not follow the unit's guidelines about working hours and appropriate notification, this month, she will have to punch the time clock next month, and will have written notice warning her of termination placed in her file. "If she does not follow procedures with the time clock, she will then be terminated."
Ellen was relieved. "I want to get out of the power struggle and supervise her appropriately. She is certainly intelligent enough to keep her job if she wants it."
For more secrets please visit Laurie at http://www.DareToSayIt.com
Free Mini-course: "Secrets for Turning Difficult Conversations into Amazing Opportunities for Cooperation and Success…" www.DareToSayIt.com introducing the information packed ebook, "I Wouldn't Dare say That!" How to Have Important Conversations that Build Working Relationships. About The Author
Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., is an internationally known executive coach, psychotherapist, and author.
Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., Master Certified Coach
Expert Coaching for Personal and Working Relationships
Empowerment Systems
506 West Davies Way
Littleton, CO 80120
303-794-5379
Fax 303-794-5408
www.empowermentsystems.com
laurieweiss@empowermentsystems.com
The Power of Mind-Imagery
If you want to experience repetitive success, you need to program your mind for that success. One of the fundamental principles of programming the subconscious...
Teach Your Children About the Importance of Water
Why should we conserve? How much is water need to maintain our civilization? Teach your children the value of water, to conserve and respect it.
What Exactly is Alternative Therapy and How Does It Boost Your Health and Well-being?
Traditional medicine and therapies work with symptoms, known illnesses and diseases. Holistic and alternative practices and therapies view illness as a warning ...
What Is The Most Important Righteous Requirement Of Gods Law?
To live "under the law" is to live under the
expectation of fulfilling God's moral standards
through one's own human ability. However, rather than
experiencing ...
Hacking the Body Via PDA Wireless Device
Hacking the mind and body by PDA wireless devices Why We Need Complex Firewalls in Blue Force tracking and Mobile Devices in Business, Government & Wartime.
Secrets of Gastric Bypass Surgery: Lose Weight Without Surgery
There's more to gastric bypass than surgery and rapid massive weight loss. Patients who undergo weight loss surgery (WLS) sign-up for a lifetime of rigid behavi...
How Blogs Can Be An Excellent Promotional Tool
Blogs as an online promotional strategy if done right could save you huge dollars in reaching out to people. This is also a medium where you need have absolute...
Landice L7 Series Pro Sports Trainer Reviewed
The Landice l7 Series Pro Sports Trainer has been rated excellent by Consumer Reports and is also rated their best brand and model based on treadmill decks that...
Muscle and Fitness -- The Second Key To Successfully Achieving Your Fitness Goals
Muscle and Fitness -- The Second Key To Successfully Achieving Your Fitness Goals. This is the action key to unleashing the power within you that will help you ...
Telling the Value Story
Sales down? Profits down? Could be poor presentation skills. Take the time to research and develop a new presentation and watch your profits climb.
Can a Webpage Created Without HTML?
Designing a webpage can be done in two ways: either by using html, or using a graphic software.
Writing CVs and Resumes for Professionals with Examples
Conducting a job search is like marketing and selling a product -- with YOU as the product. The best way to market yourself is to go through this sales sequence...
Common Website Mistakes
Do you find that the website never gets mentioned in the board room? It it a white elephant? A source of stress rather than revenue? These are signs that you...
Relieve Hormonal Symptoms of Menopause with a Natural Food Diet
Looking for more natural ways to help with the symptoms of menopause? Many herbal remedies can relieve and even eliminate the common symptoms of these conditio...
How 40,000 People Reversed Heart Disease
It is well known that about two-thirds of the U.S. population is either overweight or obese. The U.S. Surgeon General has stated that approximately 75% of Weste...
Happiness - A Choice You Must Make
Over the course of my life's journey I have come to realize that happiness is much more something we must choose then something that simply comes and goes accor...
Stress Management: 12 Stress Busters for Speedy Stress Reduction
Are You Too Stressed?
What Everybody Ought to Know About Food Additives
Every day we are bombarded with information about food products that are healthy, all natural, have no artificial ingredients, no preservatives, low fat, no fat...
How to Win a Million Dollars Without Spending a Lot of Money
The Major Millions online jackpot, like the lottery, is a longshot of epic proportions. So what's the best strategy for an online slot player to take to try to ...
The Power of Small Business Branding Through Private Labeling
Use private label marketing to boost your business profits. Examples from within the beverage / tea industry...
How to Build and Sell your eBook at the Same Time
Design every part of your eBook to be a sales tool and a beacon that brings out your best: writing--compelling, easy to read, organized, and enjoyable. Your boo...
Want a Garden, But Don’t have Enough Dirt Or Space? Hydroponics Gardening Is The Answer!
Hydroponics gardening is the perfect solution for anybody who wants a garden, but does not have enough space or dirt. Hydroponics gardening is, simply put, a m...
How to Install a Ceiling Fan - A Simple Guide
A Complete manual on how to install a Ceiling Fan may take more than just an article; it may all even take up an entire booklet. Let me just give you a simple,...
Creating a Realistic Wedding Budget While Still Having the Wedding of Your Dreams
Perhaps the single most important thing that must be accomplished when you are ready to begin planning your wedding is to first create your budget. Your budget ...
|
Print this page