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What People Are Really Interested In & How to Win Friends什麼人是真的有興趣&如何贏得朋友

Navigation: Main page » Attraction 導航: 主要頁 » 吸引力

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Author: Peter Murphy 作者:彼得墨菲

Article source: http://www.hotlib.com/ . 文章來源: http://www.hotlib.com/ Used with author's permission. 用作者的許可。

A lot of your people problems and concerns about what other people think will fade into the background when you understand one crucial reality.很多人,您的問題和關注什麼其他人認為會褪色成背景,當你了解一個關鍵的現實。

Most people are interested in you only to the extent they can get something from you.大多數人都感興趣,你只有在以下範圍內,他們可以得到的東西從你。

I know this sounds harsh.我知道這聽起來苛刻。 Bear with me a moment while I explain.承擔與我的時刻,而我解釋。

Apart from your family and closest friends most other people see you as either a hindrance or as a means to getting what they want.除了您的家人和最親密的朋友大多數其他人看到你作為一種阻礙或作為一種手段來獲得他們想要的。

If you can help them get what they want they will smile at you, say you are wonderful and do whatever they can to keep you happy and available in the future.如果您可以幫助他們得到他們想要的,他們將在你的微笑,說你是美好的和為所欲為,可以讓您高興和在將來提供。

On the other hand if you stop being a means to the fulfillment of their needs these very same people may well shun you, insult you and have nothing to do with you.在另一方面,如果您停止作為一個手段來實現他們的需要,這些非常相同的人可能會以及信你,侮辱你,並沒有與你。

Let me give you an example.讓我舉一個例子。 You meet someone special and you date.你和某人見面的特殊和你的日期。 Things progress and a few weeks later you are both in love and life has never been better.事情的進展和幾個星期後,你都是在愛與生命從來就越好。 You are the center of the universe for that person and whatever you desire is immediately granted with a smile.你是中心,宇宙該人,並不管你的願望是立即給予微笑。

Fast forward three months and the same person is screaming down the phone at you, saying how useless you are and never to call again!快速向前三個月和同一人是尖叫下電話你說,如何沒用您是從來沒有再次呼籲! What happened?發生了什麼問題? How could something so good go so wrong?怎麼能那麼好東西去,所以錯了嗎?

In very simple terms you went from satisfying the other persons emotional needs to not satisfying them.在很簡單的條款,你去滿足其他人的情感需要沒有滿足他們。 And the extreme change in how they treat you is because of what I said at the beginning of this article:和極端的變化,他們如何對待你,是因為我在開始時說這篇文章的看法:

Most people are interested in you only to the extent they can get something from you.大多數人都感興趣,你只有在以下範圍內,他們可以得到的東西從你。

Whereas in the early days of the relationship you attended to all of the other persons needs as time passed you grew complacent and things slipped to the point that key needs went unsatisfied.而在成立之初的關係,您出席會議,向所有的其他人的需要,隨著時間的流逝,你長大自滿的事情,下滑到一點,關鍵需要到不滿。

At one point you were the answer to this persons prayers but now you serve no purpose in this persons life hence the anger and annoyance.在1點,你回答了這個人祈禱,但現在你沒有用在這個人的生活因此,憤怒和煩惱。

How can you use this insight?您如何使用這項有識之士?

1. 1 。 Be alert to the unspoken demands the people in you life place on you.提高警覺,潛的要求,人民的生活在你的地方你。 And understand that your relationships depend on the meeting of these underlying needs.和我們了解您的關係,取決於對會議的這些基本需求。

2. 2 。 If you want to be free of a relationship that is limiting you then stop offering the demanded input whether that be advice, time, acceptance or any other resource or support.如果你想成為一個自由的關係,這是限制你,然後停止提供要求的投入是否得到的意見,時間,接受書或任何其他資源或支持。

Be ready for fireworks though since your input will often be taken for granted until you withdraw it.準備就緒,煙花爆竹,雖然由於您的投入,往往會視為理所當然,直到你收回。

3. 3 。 Realize that when you feel self conscious there is no need to be since most people are preoccupied being self conscious themselves!認識到,當你覺得自我意識是沒有需要加以以來,大多數人都忙於正在自我意識自己!

And as far as they are concerned you are a means to an end.並據他們所擔心的,你是達到目的的一種手段。 If John Friend phones you to go to the cinema it is so he will enjoy your company and to avoid looking silly going there alone.如果約翰的朋友電話,你去電影院是這樣,他將享受您的公司,並避免看傻去那裡。

Of course the same applies to you and I. And it is the mutual filling of needs that underpins interactions, friendships and business relationships.當然,這同樣適用於你和一,這是相互填補的需要, underpins互動,友誼和商業關係。

To sum up.概括起來。 We all want something from each other usually we are looking to fill emotional needs and this is the way the world is.我們都希望從對方通常我們正在研究,以填補情感的需要,這是世界的方式是。 Once you accept this you can use this understanding to look for what people want from you and then meet their needs.一旦你接受這個您可以使用這樣的認識,尋找什麼人想從你,然後滿足他們的需要。

If you do this effectively you will never be short of friends and people keen to spend time with you.如果你這樣做有效地您將永遠是短暫的朋友和人熱衷於花時間與您聯繫。

About The Author關於作者

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert.彼得墨菲是一個峰值性能專家。 He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence.他最近製作了一個非常受歡迎的免費報告: 10個簡單的步驟來發展通信的信心。 Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm適用於現在,因為它是供在一段有限的時間只在: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

peter1510@hotmail.com peter1510@hotmail.com




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