|
Author: Michaela Scherr Article source: http://www.articlealley.com/. Used with author's permission.
I remember when my daughter was born, later my son. According to many well meaning individuals, I should've done this, should've done that and maybe improved in some areas.
Most times I appreciated their pearls of wisdom because they made sense. At other times the line dividing the 'yes we can talk about this' crossed over into 'the no go zone' and I would bristle and spit like an angry cat! In the end, for my sanity, I did it my way.
I'm a granny now and I now provide well meaning advice to my daughter who is much like me - you can well imagine what she's thinking!
I returned to the workforce within 12 months after each pregnancy, and every time I found I was in conflict with me. One part of me wanted to get out there again, and the other didn't want to leave my children. Although I was getting my life back, inwardly I still wondered whether I was doing the right thing or not. I worked through it with the support and love of very dear friends and now am glad I did things the way I did. I'm proud to say my children have turned out to be exceptional individuals who love me as much as I love them.
The following worked extremely well for me and may also do likewise for you:
1. Take the words of others in good grace - accept what you know will be the most congruent for yourself and family. At the end of the day, friends, acquaintances and other family members who give advice on how you should be doing it, live under a different roof.
2. If confused about all the advice you receive from others, take some time to ask yourself "what is important to me in all this?"
3. Do yourself a favour - arm yourself with the knowledge that if you join support groups or socialise with others, there will be times you're going to receive unsolicited advice. Just smile and nod.
4. If you find yourself in states of hopelessness, sadness, and gloom you're unable to shake regardless of what you do - seek help from professionals. I had post natal depression with both my children and it wasn't until I actually started to receive the help I needed that I could finally see the light around me.
5. Make a list of three different things you do each day that creates anxiety for you. With each point ask yourself the five questions below:
"What is the purpose of doing this?"
"How important is doing this, really?"
"What do I need to do now that will help reduce my anxiety?"
"What is the positive aspect of this?"
"What is it costing me?"
When you're done, put your list away and come back to it later. Once you read the list again, check if you still feel the same about the three points. If you do, brainstorm a few ideas on how you could do things differently. If the points no longer having pulling power and you're ok with it - congratulate yourself!
6. Start a meditation program. Use this opportunity for some 'me time'. If you're new to meditation, there are some great how to books out there, CD's and meditation workshops. There's even an e-book titled 'Book of 10 Colour Meditation Scripts' so you can record your voice using these scripts written by yours truly.
7. Slowly start doing some of the things you used to prior to baby arriving - it is possible. Start with the absolute smallest and gradually work your way up. I started writing bits of poetry, and lists, I often wrote lists and loved it.
8. Retain your identity by keeping in contact with friends - even if it's only by phone.
9. Self esteem may plummet to an all time low; sleep deprivation a common event, and you may experience discomfort as your identity shifts from the old you to the new you. There is an upshot to all this (there's always one). You've taken on one of society's biggest roles - that of motherhood with your child potentially a future leader of this country!
10. Enjoy and make the very most of this precious time because it will pass much too quickly. Although a grandmother now, I still remember the day my daughter and son was born. It's as clear as if it happened yesterday.
I've never been more exhausted than when my children were little. Sleep deprivation was torture so in order to cope I let go of being the perfect house cleaner, cook, and social butterfly - the perfect someone. It simply wasn't important anymore and knew it was all there waiting for me when the time was right, and know it will for you too. Michaela is a Transformational Coach, certified practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), writer and Metaphysician who is totally committed to helping others create positive and action oriented changes to their lives (see http://www.michaelascherr.com)
Michaela is the author of several e-books including Book of 10 Colour Meditation Scripts and publisher of a monthly newsletter called From My Desk.
Married to David, Michaela has two children and a grandchild and currently lives in Brisbane Australia.
Internet Jams
Today's technology for the recording musician has been getting better and better with each passing month it seems. Software
Save On Food - Ten Tips
How do you save on food purchases? By being an opportunist. Here are ten ways to do it.
Performing, Whats the Big Deal?
Symptoms of performance anxiety (stage fright) include "butterflies" in the stomach, quickened heart rate or more severe symptoms such as hyperventilation, dizz...
What Does Success Look Like To You?
So many of us want success, but how many of us really know what we mean when we say it? And please….. don't blurt out some superficial "bling and glam" definiti...
The Top Ten Ways to Stop Procrastinating Now
10. Procrastination Condemnation - Lose the Labels! All those things you call yourself, such as lazy, scattered, disorganized, not good enough, incompetent, or ...
Ten Day Plan to Online Sales
You have a product - and ten days to make money. What do you do? Take advice from this online expert.
Credit Card Company Tricks
Credit card companies want to know what is in your wallet. No, not which card you carry, but how much money you have. That siphoning sound you hear is your hard...
Placing Stock Orders
Once you have made the buy or sell decision, what's the best way to accomplish it? Some rules of thumb for placing stock orders for exchange-listed and over-the...
Is Earning Money With Affiliate Marketing A Myth?
How To Become A Power Affiliate in 7 Minutes - Day by Day Guide For You To Making Real Money Online
Love the Outdoors? Consider a Gatlinburg Cabin Rental
There are literally thousands of cabin rentals and chalet rentals available to choose from. A Gatlinburg cabin rental gives a family the opportunity to experie...
Anticipatory Grief and Holidays: 12 Survival Tips
Holidays are something else to worry about for those who are experiencing anticipatory grief. You may be one of these people. "How am I going to get through t...
A Dorm Room With A View
Setting the path for your small business doesn't mean you have to be the next great visionary. Just know what you believe in, where you're going, and stick to y...
Flawless Makeup: Are You Using the Right Tools?
Like organizing our closets we must from time to time clean out our makeup cabinets and make sure what we have is still working for us.
Dieting? Mental Activity is as Important as Physical
Dieting is not about eating less and exercising more. If it was we wouldn't spend the most per capita on weight loss and still be the fattest. Learn what else i...
Never Trust a Silent Customer
Do you have customers that leave suddenly? You were doing an outstanding job for them, lavishing them with truckloads of service and yet they disappeared withou...
What Parents and Teachers should Know about Suicide in Adolescents and Young Adults
Suicide attempts and completed suicides among adolescents are problems of increasing significance. This article discusses the risk factors and warning signs of ...
7 Ways Busy Families Can Volunteer
Even busy families can enjoy the many benefits of volunteering. Here are seven ways to get started.
The Cost/Benefit Analysis
The golf swing is really quite complicated. The reason that I wrote "The Simple Golf Swing" was to get rid of all the unnecessary movements that end up causing ...
Start Up a Nude Photography Business
There are major obstacles to overcome to get into nude photography, not least of which is the need to practise technique. By its very nature there has to be at ...
Stop Searching for A Job and Start Attracting Professional Success!
Old job search methods no longer work and relying on your education, skills and experience won't separate you from the crowd. So what are you to do? Use these t...
Hemorrhoids & its Symptoms
Hemorrhoids are conditions where there is a swelling of the veins around the veins. The veins may be inflammed sometimes. Hemorrhoids can be internal or externa...
Ten-Step Guide To Boosting Your Sites Traffic and Revenue
1. Hunt for Catchy Domain Names and Get a Quality Paid Host You probably have a domain name already, but you might consider getting new ones for different secti...
Life Insurance – Do You Need It?
Many people are skittish about life insurance, because they feel that it is useless, or it makes them face their mortality, or they may arrogantly think that th...
Common Sense Link Exchange
What's wrong with your links page, and when exchanging links is a bad idea...
|
Print this page